Introduction

P.S. INCIDENTS INCLUDED IN THIS book are not intended to glamorize or endorse acts of cannibalism, drug use, smuggling, torture, extortion, bribery, wire fraud, attempted vehicular manslaughter, or the poaching of endangered species.

PART ONE

Chapter One Aftermath

It wasn’t that I enjoyed watching him squirm; he was just so brilliantly witty and sarcastic when backed into a corner.

Chapter Two Ready for Prime Time

…history, culture, and personality as an example of what they hoped we’d deliver.

The blunt truth was that I basically had to film all the food three times: first in a wide shot while Tony ate it at the table; after he left, we’d film preparation in the kitchen, then back out at the table, this time getting insert beauty shots, which required lens changes and a hand model, often Josh or me.

“Yeah, socialists are very ambivalent about food,” Tony said.

Chapter Three Appetizer

“In high school a friend of mine was getting pushed around by this jock,” Tony said. “I went out and got an after-school job, saved up enough money to buy an ounce of weed. In the meantime, I’d gone to the library and learned how to pick a lock. So I broke into the jock’s locker, planted the weed, then made an anonymous report to the police claiming the jock was dealing drugs. The cops searched his locker, found the dope, and the jock got sent off to juvie. Ruined his life. That’s how you deal with a bully.”

Chapter Four Heart of Darkness

CASUALLY ATTIRED IN A KHAKI LINEN SHIRT, CLARK DESERT BOOTS, AND his trademark Persol sunglasses, Tony made trekking through war-torn Congo look effortless.

Joseph Conrad’s 1902 novella Heart of Darkness.

“It’s the worst for women,” Horeb said. “Rape happens all the time in Congo. It’s okay to rape if you give a chicken to the woman’s family. I do this job because I want my country to be better for my children when they grow up.”

Chapter Five Signs You’re in a Cult

The rules for working on Tony’s shows were not to be found on the <!– Pages of any HR manual. There were behaviors perfectly acceptable in polite society that were unforgivable deal-breakers for Tony. Stingy tipper, vegan, mediocre, tea drinker, late, or a fan of Jimmy Buffett’s music, you’re off the show. Conversely, horribly embarrassing, self-destructive acts that would be more than reason enough for termination at any other place of employment might be perfectly acceptable conduct among Tony’s “band of misfits.” Binge drinking, grand theft auto, perjury, or psychological blackmail, no problem. Threatening to leave an “upper-decker” in the network producer’s toilet, now that deserves a promotion!

Chapter Six Kill Your Darlings

“BE INCREASINGLY SURREAL,” TONY SAID. “Make this show as hallucinogenic as possible.

“Rule one? Show, don’t tell!

Tony was a big believer in the power of point of view. Finding people with a good point of view for Tony to interact with on camera allowed us to look at a place through someone else’s eyes.

“What is this show about?” Tony continued. “Whose point of view are we telling it from? Answer: We are telling the story from Zach—a cinematographer’s point of view. What would Zach see? Make it beautiful, the way a cinematographer would see the world. Let the images do the talking. Make the ending ‘about something,’ a reminder, visually, of who is looking. Unfuck this edit and make it as excellent as it can be and should be.”

Tony advised to “watch movies, read everything you can. Be inspired by what others have done and learn from their mistakes. Stealing is fine as long as you can reasonably suggest it was just ‘borrowing’ in court.”

TONY WAS CHAMPION OF THE misunderstood, stragglers, stalwarts, pioneers, lovable drunks, the marginalized—those left behind or left out or fallen by the wayside. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to be an outsider.

We always pushed for diverse voices and did our best to shine a light on underrepresented cultures and gave them the last word. Tony always stood up for what he believed was right, and everyone who worked on the show took pride in the responsibility. This was perhaps one of the best things about the show, and it could also be one of the most controversial.

PART TWO

Chapter Eleven Shooting Nightmares

TONY OFTEN SPOKE OF HOW THE CAMERA WAS A LIAR; SIMILARLY, THE edit was inherently manipulative. And he was right. As time went by, what we chose to show or not show in the finished episodes had a funny way of recasting what had really happened in my mind. The constructed retelling somehow became more real to me than the actual experience had been. I found myself forgetting what had really happened, and what I did remember became edited, as if it were the show.

Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.

PART THREE

Chapter Thirteen The Quiet American

I think there are going to be some big issues our children are going to have to address, because we didn’t address them.

Chapter Sixteen Karma

Tony was a man who was trying his best—to free himself of his analytical mind, to find a belief system that was more forgiving of his spiritual ambivalence, to express his love to the people he cared about, to reconcile the contradictions that embodied his internal and external life and ultimately defined his persona.

Vocabulary

  • Ebullient - cheerfull and full of energy
  • Polemic - a speech or piece of writing expressing a strongly critical attack on or controversial opinion about someone or something
  • Alsatian - a German shepherd